Wow. I'm back after four years.
For those of you who are new to my blog, "HEY GIRL HEY"! To my guys, wassup? Don't be awkward or a stranger. You can kick it with me too. For those of you who have been following for a while, I have been gone trying to get my stuff together, keyword "TRYING". As you can see from the title, this weird phase of "20 Something" has been kicking my ass.
I know for a fact that I am not the only one who has been experiencing this either since all my millennial's are posting on Instagram about checking on that "strong friend".
WELL SIS I AM THAT STRONG FRIEND.
For those of you that don't know, the term "20 Something" refers to the phase of life in your twenties belonging to self identity, relationships, confusion, emotional distress, brokeness. All the weird shit that is unavoidable in life. During this phase life can really beat you down in order to bring you up mentally, physically, and emotionally. Apparently you're supposed to "trust the process". All of these things can be explained in SZA's song 20 Something. If you have no idea who or what that is, which you should if you're on my blog *side eye, then I advise you to listen to Ctrl.
Before I get carried away, let me back track for a bit. When I last posted on this blog I was about twenty, finishing up my first degree at a college in Chicago, fresh, focused, and preparing for a new chapter in a new city. Since then I have completed a Bachelor of Arts in English at Fisk University, met various people, worked about five jobs since graduation, lived it up in Nashville, tried adulting and all of it's ups and downs, (mainly downs), and learned way too many things about myself.
I'm just going to say it like this. Adulting is the root of all evil, not money.
Why? Because everything involved with adulting = money/finances. Adulting seems to start in your twenties, and kick starts the love/hate relationship and never ending struggle with finances. I have been personally dealing with this demon for about a year and a half and I am MFN TIEDDD.
Society and social media dictates that post grad, you will either get that bomb corporate 401k job, or you will drown in the ocean of "entry level experience", failure, self doubt, non productivity/creativity, and brokeness. Whew, chile these things can be deadly to your peace!
After securing my degree, securing the bag and all of the experiences included with the process has been an even bigger obstacle in my life which has resulted in a lot of emotional turmoil which I am still working on btw. It has also resulted in some productive pain such as change, cutting toxic ties, a lot of soul searching, distancing myself, and relocation.
I'm pretty sure SZA is a prophet because there are many times where I just know the phase of these "20 Something's" is going to kill me. BUT I know that I'm not the only one, and for those of you out there dealing with this weird phase, just know there is always light at the end of the tunnel and I'm right here with ya'll.
The main thing I have been struggling with lately has been my light. I've been struggling with my self identity and creativity. During all of this weird shit, I seemed to have lost my light. I feel a type of way because I need ALL of that back.
On a good day I'm a pretty dope individual, but as of lately I feel like none of my creativity or personal projects have been coming to fruition. I had a sense of direction, but now I'm lost. I'm being overlooked. I'm not dope enough. I'm failing. I'm not where I want to be. How will I ever make my talents become a career? These are "20 Something" issues/thoughts.
Most of these thoughts came from my dealings with social media lmao. You know, the whole "ugh he/she is flourishing , living their best lives." "He/she is so successful, what am I doing with my life?" Ouuu social media is so flaw, but it's addicting and in most business cases, necessary so you can't get away. I'm going to continue the whole social media approval & self identity topic in a lengthy post shortly after this one.
This week I was deep in my feelings about it (again). I was reminiscing about my projects, my YouTube channel, my brand, what I'm lacking, my creative voice. I've been really moody lately.
Just when I thought I had gained some type of control over my baggage, my emotions started doing the damn Shiggy. I was doing a little research and I found out
AND IT HAS THE NERVE TO BE IN MY SUN SIGN LEO!!! REALLY??
I'm not going to get too deep into astrology here. I am a astrology enthusiast, not an expert. Basically this retrograde affects us all in some way in different aspects/ components of life depending on your zodiac. It really has me messed up and it needs to be gone from my space by the tenth of August which is my birthday...
Anywho, it was mentioned that my fellow Leo's and I should refocus and revisit some of our older projects during the retrograde. I was reminiscing the other night in my "20 Something's" mood and I happened to stumble upon my blog. I'm happy that I did because it was in that moment that I decided that I would start writing again, and here I am.
This is the revamp of The Vintage Luxury. I decided that along with my fashion posts which is/was the body of my blog, I will be coming to you somewhat candid, and real. I will be writing about personal things and relatable topics I feel are necessary for myself , millennials and others. I have done a great deal of changing as an individual and I feel as though my blog should reflect this change. If you want to join me on this journey, LINKKKK (Chicago voice), cause if we rocking, we rocking! Don't worry, I'll be posting really fun things. Feel free to leave suggestions/comments with good reads for growth or positivity. Also if you're into healing crystals and know of any stores where I can pick up some, or have good reads/information about it let me know. To all my millennials going through their "20 Something's", it's a daily struggle and process. I'm still dealing with it every day. Pray about it. Meditate, surround yourself with positive energy. Start a project, pick one back up. You can't stay in that space love.
Find your light.
- Love, Shan ♡
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